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Compassionate Parenting: Why Creating Memories, Not Expectations?

Written by Cindy NgoUpdated on April 26, 2023

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Raising a child isn't easy, but it can be an amazing and rewarding time for any parent. In this TED talk, Austeja Landsbergiene shares with us why making happy memories with our children is more important than putting our expectations on them. Besides she also explains how the wrong parenting approach may trigger different emotions in children.
As a teacher, writer, and mom, Landsbergiene gives advice on how parents can make a strong foundation for their children by showing them compassion, generosity, and acceptance. This also helps children develop cooperation skills at an early age.
This article sums up her caring messages and helpful tips about the compassionate approach to parenting that you might find useful in your parenting process.
Let's dive in!

High expectations may lead to mental health issues in children

Expectations are a normal part of life, and we adults often pass them on to our children without knowing it and how it will affect their feelings.
In her talk, Landsbergiene goes on to say that parents should let go of expectations and focus on making great memories with their children. This will not only help you strengthen your relationship with your child but also help them grow and react normally.
Landsbergiene also believes that compassion and consideration, not always criticism and discipline, make children feel loved and safe.
Besides, our expectations can be too much, and it can cause too much stress on a child's brain growth. This might cause mental problems such as anxiety and learning struggles later on.

Kindness and support help children grow

It's important for parents to find a balance in their parenting approach. The main goal is to make sure our children are in the "zone of proximal development." This means tasks are not too easy or too hard. This zone helps children learn with grit, determination, and excitement.
As life gets busier and more stressful, we adults sometimes forget that what matters the most is our child's happiness and well-being, not our expectations or what society wants. Landsbergiene reminds us that kindness and understanding are important in creating a caring environment for our children.
Being kind and supportive is the best thing we can do to help our kids become stronger and handle life's challenges they might face later on.

Compassionate Parenting Advice

Here are some main tips from Austeja Landsbergiene's talk that may help any parent who wants to put an effort in making a change in their parenting style:
  • Focus on making more happy memories with your children instead of putting expectations on them.
  • Kindness and generosity should be the main part of your parenting journey.
  • Support your child's curiosity and creativity, and let them explore their interests.
  • Help your child find a balance between challenge and comfort in their learning journey.
  • Be aware of the effects of too much stress on your child's mental health and growth.
  • Teach your child values, forgiveness, and understanding. Don't forget to show your love for them often.


Parenting is a joy. Austeja Landsbergiene's talk is a strong message for all parents or becoming parents. By showing compassion, generosity, and acceptance, we can help our children grow into strong, happy, and confident people.
Every child will grow, so why not make happy memories that last forever instead of putting too many expectations on them? Let kids be kids. Why not enjoy every surprising moment of joy in the parenting journey with unconditional love that lasts a lifetime?


Author Biography

Dr. Austeja Landsbergiene is a successful teacher, writer, mom of four, and CEO with 20 years of experience in education. As the founder of 16 preschools, Austeja has helped many children and families. She has also written parenting books that give helpful parenting advice about raising kids with love, kindness, and understanding. Austeja's dedication to helping the next generation is clear in her strong support for positive practices.

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